To Love
by Sullieyan
Summary: A modern tale of Alice and Uncas. She is a corporate lawyer; he is a Navy SEAL. The couple realises what love is and what it means to love... "Absence is to love what wind is to fire: it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great."
1. Chapter 1

Alice stirred immediately when a very warm, very male body slipped in behind her on the bed. _He was back._ "Hello, sweetheart." His low, velvety timbre never failed to make her toes curl. She flipped around to face him though she could barely make out his features in the dark. Her hand glided down his rock-hard sculpted abs as she whispered back, "Hello." He leaned in to kiss her hungrily and Alice let her hand travel down his thigh… his hiss of pain shattered their sexy interlude. All naughty and romantic thoughts fled as Alice hit the switch beside her bed. Her bedroom instantly flooded with light. Alice glanced at the clock on her night table – it was 4.13am.

Shoving Uncas off her, she sat up and glared at him, "What is it this time?" Uncas let out a long-suffering sigh. Alice stared at her boyfriend of three years, wondering for the millionth time what possessed her, a normal English girl from London, to date an American Navy SEAL. Well, a drop-dead gorgeous part German, part Native American SEAL at that.

She was a corporate lawyer who clocked long hours but at least she did not disappear for weeks, and sometimes, months, in the name of work. Uncas knew where to find her when he needed to; she never knew where to find him if he was not with her. She had not seen him in nearly two weeks. The last time they were together, they had been having dinner in her London apartment. He had gotten a call in the middle of it and before she could even serve her home-baked apple pie, he was on the next plane back to D.C.

"A stray bullet nicked my thigh. It's nothing." He grounded out tightly. Alice let her gaze drop to his heavily bandaged thigh and scoffed, "Do you honestly expect me to believe that?" In her clipped English accent, the sentence came out more caustic than usual. "Believe what you want." Uncas replied icily as he pushed off the bed, wincing as he landed too heavily on his injured side.

Alice seethed silently as he swiped his faded jeans from the floor and pulled them on before padding out of her bedroom. She noticed his duffel bag flung carelessly at the foot of the bed. He had come straight from the airport or air base or whatever airfield military planes landed on. Alice felt some of her anger melt away. He would be exhausted. He always was upon return of an assignment.

Alice shuttled between London and Washington D.C. for work, flying back to her home city at least once a month. She rented a small, modern apartment in downtown D.C, while Uncas had his own swanky bachelor pad about a ten-minute drive away, thanks to a modest, but substantial inheritance from his maternal German grandfather. His parents, both university professors, lived in Boston.

Biting her lip, she scrambled off her bed and headed out of the bedroom. A short, narrow corridor led to the living room, with an open kitchen on the right. Uncas was brooding by the refrigerator, a can of beer in one hand. Without a word, Alice took the can from him and popped the tab. She returned the can to him and opened the refrigerator, "Would you like a sandwich?" Not waiting for an answer, she started yanking out ingredients from the different shelves.

Uncas watched warily as Alice moved around the kitchen, her face averted to avoid his eyes. Her honey blond hair was piled in a messy knot on top of her head and there were shadows under her eyes. She had not been sleeping well. Guilt pricked him as he knew he was largely the reason though she often pulled late nights at the office.

She rarely complained but he sensed she was becoming increasingly restless and frustrated, especially over his last two assignments. He remembered how frantic she was when he had a four-month deployment to the Middle East in their first year together. He had left in the middle of the night and only made a handful of calls to her during those months. Plus she had been rudely greeted by a nasty gunshot wound on his shoulder upon their reunion.

"It was supposed to take a couple of days but something else cropped up." He muttered apologetically as she made quick work of his sandwich. She nodded dutifully, her attention completely on the roast beef, cheese and romaine lettuce she was stuffing into a wholemeal baguette. He reached out to still her hand, "Alice." She shook him off and issued coolly, "I understand." She held out the finished sandwich to him. The strange thing was that Uncas knew she did understand him – just that she was not reconciled to what she understood.

He was too fatigued to fight with her so he obediently took the sandwich and wolfed it down. "I'll drive you to work later so you can sleep in a little longer." He offered. Alice poured herself a glass of water, "You don't have to – I'm taking the morning off. " Uncas cocked his head curiously, "Why?" "Just some errands to run." She responded vaguely. "Dinner?" he suggested, as he took a swig of beer. She inclined her head, "Okay." With that, she brushed past him and returned to the bedroom.

Uncas disposed the can and followed her. He ducked into the en-suite bathroom to brush his teeth before heading over to the bed. Alice was sprawled on her back, staring blankly at the ceiling. He climbed in next to her and drew her close. "Missed you." He murmured gruffly, running his fingers through her hair and undoing her bun in the process. He thought she was not going to answer again when her hands snaked around his waist, and she admitted grudgingly, "Missed you, too." Uncas smiled briefly at that, hugged her tighter and within seconds, he was fast asleep. _Home._

* * *

 _Three years earlier_

* * *

Christmas was a few weeks away but everyone was already in a jolly mood. One of Alice's colleagues at the firm, Dan Manning had invited their department to his place for an early celebration. She had been living in D.C for almost six months and Shana, Dan's wife, had been one of her first friends. Alice hated parties but Shana had insisted she attended… so here she was. The Mannings had also invited family and friends, so the house was literally filled to the rafters.

Alice was trying to make herself comfortable on the living room couch when someone inquired politely, "May I sit here?" "Of course." Alice responded cordially as she lifted her head - and blinked. Standing in front of her was one of the most beautiful men she had ever seen in her twenty-eight years. Straight midnight hair left long at the sides and cut shorter and swept back in the front framed an impossibly chiselled jaw and cheekbones, a strong aquiline nose and full lips. A stray lock of hair fell dashingly over his left brow, while dark brows slashed over long, almond-shaped eyes the colour of rich coffee, which were framed by thick sable lashes. His exotic dark features complimented his deep, bronzed complexion and he looked about 6'2". Alice was certain some Native American blood ran through his veins.

Alice had to physically restrain herself from sighing in feminine appreciation at how his dark jeans and crisp white shirt moulded his lean, ruggedly muscular physique to utter perfection. Sleeves rolled to the elbows revealed sturdy, sinewy arms.

The man sunk down on the couch and angled around to face her. Extending his hand, he introduced himself, "I'm Uncas." He was even more devastating up-close and his silky baritone was… as sexy as hell. His entire being was as sexy as hell. Alice cleared her throat nervously as she shook his hand, "I'm Alice. How do you do." His hand was callused and warm, his grip, powerful. His lips twitched in amusement at her formal manner and Alice noticed dazedly that he kept her hand encased in his for a little longer than necessary before lazily releasing her fingers.

"Are you a friend of Shana's?" he queried mildly as he took a sip of wine from the glass in his hand. Alice shrugged, "You could say that. I got to know her through Dan. Dan and I work together." She eyed him curiously, "How do you know them?" "Dan and I were college roommates. And I was his best man at his wedding." He supplied easily, as he absently rubbed a long, thin white scar on his left arm. Dan had gone to Yale, and it was there he met Shana. Alice was privy to the details of their love story since Shana had spent an entire afternoon telling her about it over tea.

"Have you always been a lawyer?" Uncas asked, his gaze intelligent… and interested. _He was genuinely interested in her._ Alice was surprised since the men who liked her usually were of the strait-laced, bookish sort. Not that Alice was visually unappealing – she knew she was attractive in a "willowy way" as her sister Cora oft said, but she tended to fade into the background because of her introverted nature. "Yes. And what do you do?" she responded primly. He smiled sombrely, "I'm in the military." Before she could question him further, Shana bounced over, "Uncas!" Uncas got to his feet and the two embraced. "Shana. It has been awhile." He greeted amicably. "Dan didn't think you were going to make it tonight. I'm glad you are here." Shana said, squeezing his arm. She winked at Alice, "I see you two have met."

Alice blushed while Uncas flashed a quick grin at Shana, "I'll go find Dan." He paused to gaze down at Alice, "Will you be staying here?" "Of course she will be. We'll grab a drink at the bar and come back here." Shana intercepted before Alice could reply. When Uncas left, Shana dragged Alice to a corner, "I was going to introduce you to Uncas but he found you first." "I beg your pardon?" Alice gasped, regarding Shana with suspicion. "Dan and I thought you two would hit it off since both of you are the quietest people we know. But we couldn't introduce you guys earlier because Uncas was away on deployment." Shana chirped.

"Deployment? Where?" Alice blurted out. Shana hesitated, "Probably Afghanistan but we're just guessing. Uncas never says." "He mentioned he was in the military…" Alice trailed off, utterly confused. What kind of military personnel was Uncas? "Er… he is not your normal soldier…" Shana added sheepishly. When she saw Alice's flabbergasted expression, she resumed, "Special forces. Uncas is a Navy SEAL." Alice gaped at her friend, stupefied. Of course she had heard of this elite group of troops but she never thought she would ever see one, let alone meet one.

"He, Dan and I went to college together. Uncas went to business school. He worked for a few years but decided to enlist into the military full-time. He has been with the military for about eight years, with the SEALs for the past six years." Shana related as she propelled Alice to the bar. "So he's the same age as Dan?" Alice inquired as she picked up a glass of juice. Shana nodded in confirmation as she poured herself a glass of champagne. That made Uncas five years older than her at thirty-three.

The women returned to the couch. "I think he likes you." Shana announced abruptly, patting Alice's thigh with authority. "He has known me for five seconds." Alice retorted in disbelief. "True. But this is the first time I have seen him approach a woman. It's normally the other way around – women are always throwing themselves at him." Shana chuckled as she tossed back her auburn hair. "Wonderful." Alice muttered dryly. Shana slung her arm over Alice's shoulder, "He's a great guy and one of the most loyal friends anyone can have. But he's very reserved though and hard to get to know. Give him a chance and give him some time. I promise he's worth it."

Shana left Alice to entertain her other guests as Alice mulled over what she had just learnt of Uncas. She confessed she was attracted to him on a visceral level, but there was something about him that made her pause. Even in those five seconds, she felt an unexplainable pull to him despite her awkwardness.

"Hungry?" Alice jumped as Uncas dropped down next to her, bearing a plate loaded with pizza. He offered her a slice and she took one gratefully. "Famished." Alice replied as she took a bite. "Where's home?" he probed, his eyes locked on hers. "London. But this is home for the next few years." She related, then regarded him cautiously, "I heard you are a member of the Navy SEALs." "Yeah." He answered shortly but did not further elaborate. "Is that all?" she quipped playfully. Something flickered in his eyes and his lips quirked sardonically, "That's all you need to know for now."

* * *

 _Present_

In the end, they spent the entire night chatting on that couch. Uncas offered to send her home after and she let him. He asked for her number and she gave it to him. He asked her out for dinner three days later and she accepted. They started dating three weeks later… and they were still dating three years on. _"That's all you need to know for now."_ Alice realised bleakly that was all she still knew… even now, three years later. When he was not deployed or on missions, he trained and attended multiple courses. He never once told her what happened on his missions and Alice never asked, assuming everything was classified.

Alice glanced at her watch – it was nearly eight. Uncas had texted earlier, informing her that he had booked a table for eight-fifteen at their favourite Japanese restaurant, which was just around the corner from her office building. He had been still asleep when she left to run her errands but when she returned at noon, he had lunch all cooked and ready. She insisted on catching the Metro to work and she did. Shuffling her papers, she figured she could continue with work after dinner.

* * *

Uncas waited patiently at the table, which faced the entrance of the restaurant. He usually picked restaurants close to Alice's office on weekdays if they intended to have dinner out. He tapped his fingers on the table thoughtfully. Alice had seemed fine when she left after lunch but he had a nagging feeling not all was right between them. She was accustomed to him going off on missions, disappearing for days to weeks, but she once confessed she hated it when he got deployed for months overseas. But recently, she seemed unsettled even when he went on considerably "brief" missions.

He straightened when he saw Alice step into the restaurant. She handed her coat to the maitre d and made her way towards him. She was wearing a fitted wool burgundy sheath, with her hair in a sleek ponytail at her nape. Her outfit reminded him of the first time he had set eyes on her at Dan's Christmas party three years ago, all alone on the huge couch. He had covertly observed her for a good five minutes before approaching her. _Strange._ He had been inexplicably drawn to her reticent manner, austere features and serious, grey eyes like a magnet.

It may not been love at first sight; but it had definitely been _something_ at first sight. He discovered over the last three years that she was as quiet as he was, and while they did have lengthy conversations, they were perfectly happy and satisfied sitting side by side in companionable silence. There was what he loved about her, about their relationship. They did not have to say much for either of them to understand each other.

Alice sat down opposite him, "Have you ordered?" "Our usual. You okay with that?" he posed as he stretched across the space to kiss her cheek. She nodded and signalled the waiter for the sake list. "So what did you have to do this morning?" he asked conversationally. She chewed her lower lip, "I met with the realtor to renew the lease for the apartment."

Uncas' eyes narrowed fractionally. There were not many issues they majorly disagreed on but their current living arrangements was one: Alice had repeatedly refused to move in with him. His place was more than spacious enough to accommodate two people and was nearer to her office. It was a practical solution since they presently split their time between the two apartments on weekdays, while they were mostly at his place on weekends.

"Why?" He finally said curtly. Alice held his gaze placidly, "Because I want to. I like having my own space like what I have in London. Your place is too big and you're always away." He did not respond but simply stared at her, his eyes hooded. Alice knew he was not convinced by her reasoning. It was true to a certain extent, but not the whole truth. Alice was relieved when he decided to drop the issue for the moment and proceeded to order more sake.

* * *

 _Alice wasn't sure about him, about them._ He could see it in her eyes throughout dinner. They were back at his apartment. It was midnight. Alice was busy tapping away on her laptop in the living room, while he was doing up his report for his most recent mission in his study. _Was there someone else?_ He dismissed the thought immediately. He was so attuned to her every nuance that he would know instinctively if that were the case.

"Done?" Alice glanced up at Uncas' voice. He was wearing grey sweatpants and nothing else. Scars of different shapes and sizes marred his smooth, bronzed skin, and Alice belatedly noticed a huge bruise forming near his right hip. It's normal, she psyched herself and mentally clamped down on the worry that was bubbling in her gut.

"Not yet. Why don't you go to bed first?" she replied flippantly, returning her attention to her laptop screen. He hunkered down next to her, caught hold of her shoulders and firmly angled her towards him, "What's wrong?" "Nothing. I just need to finish this tonight." she muttered distractedly, studying a document intently. Uncas knew she was not going to change her mind so he resignedly sank down on the leather couch that ran along the wall behind her, "Wake me up when you are ready for bed."

* * *

One hour later, Alice snapped the cover of her laptop shut with a yawn. She tilted her back tiredly and felt warm, moist breath tickle her neck. Uncas. She forgot he was behind her on the couch. She turned around to face him. He was asleep, his brow slightly furrowed, his satiny hair strewn partially across his face. She ran her hand down his shoulder to the ferocious bruise she saw earlier. It must hurt terribly, though not as terribly as his thigh. She knew it was part-and-parcel of his job and he was trained and conditioned to handle all these knocks and injuries... but she just actively detested the thought of him hurt in any form.

Heat engulfed Alice's hand. _He was awake._ Uncas' hand covered hers, his fingers feathering her palm. Alice got to her feet, hoisting him up with her. They strolled wordlessly to his bedroom and settled into the huge bed. Alice did not protest when he tucked her under him, and framed her face with his hands. "Move in with me." Alice appreciated the fact that it sounded like a request and not an order. But then again, as alpha male as Uncas was, he was never disrespectful or condescending towards her.

When Alice did not answer, he stroked her hair languidly, "Is the idea of living with me 24/7 that repulsive?" _No, it would be heaven if you are actually around 24/7... preferably free of bullet wounds._ But she did not vocalise her thoughts. There was no point since she knew he loved his job and it was his life. She did not desire to take that away from him.

Uncas tenderly kissed the side of her mouth, his lips lingering there. "I have a better idea." Alice tensed, dread trickling through her veins. _Please don't go there..._ "Why don't we get married?" he finished quietly. He was serious, of course he was. Uncas never said or did things he did not mean and could not account for. She, on the other hand...

 _"No."_

* * *

 _Author's Note_

 _My first attempt at a modern story. It is a challenge to teleport the characters of Alice and Uncas into current times without losing the old-fashioned poignancy and sweetness displayed in the movie - but I hope I will do a decent job so that all of you can still relate to them. It's a little strange penning about the couple in the contemporary world since the emotional, social and psychological nuances are so different from the colonial period. That being said, it is fun and thrilling to exercise my imagination. Hope you will enjoy this story, too. XXOOO_


	2. Chapter 2

"No."

Uncas remained where he was, so still that Alice could neither hear nor feel him breathe. For a long time, they stayed that way, with Alice lying unmoving under him, her hands clenched at her sides. He was waiting for her to explain; but her mind and thoughts were all jumbled at the moment. He finally raised his head and she inhaled sharply when she saw the hurt swimming in his eyes. She immediately regretted her hasty rejection.

She reached up to cup his jaw, "Uncas, I-" He rolled away from her, "Forget I asked." A cold lump began to form in her stomach. He sounded so remote. She touched his arm and tried again, "Uncas -" "Alice, drop it." he issued tonelessly. The fact that he did not sound angry scared her more. Stricken, she could only stare helplessly at his broad, heavily muscled back. This was the first time he had turned his back on her.

Why had she said no so quickly? Did she really not want to marry Uncas? Did she expect them to date for the rest of their lives? _What was she afraid of?_ Alice loved him - there was no question about that. _Then why..._ Memories of the nights and days she spent without him when he was deployed for months in the Middle East assailed her. Not knowing whether he was safe or in danger, dead or alive, until he called her. His top-secret missions, those times he packed up and left on last-minute orders, the times when she completely had no means of communication with him...

...And the funeral of his fallen comrade who had died in action during one of their overseas missions. It happened about a year ago and Alice had attended the funeral because she knew the soldier and his young, beautiful family. Alice could not erase from her mind the sight of Uncas' team members all lined up, faces impassive, yet their eyes had glimmered with unshed tears. The sound of the departed soldier's family's heart-breaking sobs as they bid him farewell... _That was what she was afraid of. But was that all?_

* * *

Alice had not hesitated at all in her rejection of his so-called proposal. He could tell she regretted afterward but the damage was done. He could hear her breathing nervously, erratically behind him. Then again, he confessed he was not surprised at her response. This was the first time marriage was mentioned between them, despite the fact they had been together for three years and enjoyed a solid relationship. _Why haven't they talked about marriage?_ He suddenly wondered.

Uncas had never brought up the subject since he had assumed they would eventually get married and presumed Alice thought the same. He was wrong. She had her reservations. She was committed to him but she was not committed to them spending the rest of their lives as husband and wife. In that moment, Uncas felt extremely foolish and naïve.

 _Silence does not mean consent and agreement._ Or maybe he was just so crazy over her that he had chosen to overlook the warning signs. Facing the warning signs meant that was a chance he could lose her. At that thought, his stomach churned. _Life without Alice. What would that be like?_

* * *

Alice woke up the next morning in an empty bed. Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, she stumbled sleepily out of the bedroom. She saw a note propped on the kitchen table. "Gone for training. Will be at the base today and tomorrow." Alice slumped down on the nearest chair, not sure what to feel or think about the note. Was he deliberately putting some distance between them after last night? But she belatedly recalled that he did mention during dinner yesterday that he was scheduled for training over the next couple of days. _Was it bad or perfect timing?_

Her cell phone shrilled. It was her mother. Alice tapped her phone, "Yes, Mum?" "Hello, darling. I know you should be busy getting ready for work but your dad wanted to confirm that Uncas is coming over for Christmas, too?" _Christmas._ She slapped her forehead. She was due back in London for the holidays.

It was about three weeks to Christmas and her ticket home was booked for the twentieth. Uncas had specially taken leave to accompany her to London this year. He had been to London countless times in the last three years, but this was the first time he was spending Christmas with her family.

They had celebrated last Christmas with his family in Boston, and the year before in D.C. For their first Christmas together, they had jetted to Berlin on a whim. Then, they had only been officially together for two weeks. Uncas had relatives in Berlin and had spent most of his childhood summers there so he knew the city like the back of hand.

 _Would Uncas still want to go with her to London after last night?_ Would things be settled between them by then? Crossing her fingers, she replied with forced brightness, "Of course he is." "Lovely. Your father is considering taking him to..." Alice listened listlessly as her mother chattered on about their Christmas plans, gazing beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows of the adjoined living room. If Uncas was staying at the base for two nights, then she would spend her nights back at her place.

She returned to the bedroom and made a beeline for the corner in the wardrobe where she kept her clothes, including spare outfits for work. A reluctant smile tugged at her lips when she saw her dresses and coats hung according to colour, her separates neatly stacked into piles, by category. Uncas was such a neat, organised freak though he refused to admit it, claiming it was just the way it was in the military. His apartment was perpetually spick-and-span, with everything unerringly in place. She chose a black suit and a champagne silk camisole, and headed to the bathroom to wash up.

* * *

Uncas was about to step into the shower when his cell phone vibrated. It was his mother. "I bought gifts and made cookies for Katherine and James. When are you and Alice flying up to Boston?" she inquired eagerly without saying hello. Uncas frowned in confusion. Cookies for Alice's parents? Why was his mother... _London_. _He was supposed to spend Christmas in London this year._ He had totally forgotten about it. They had planned this months ago.

Both sets of parents had met several times and got along fabulously. He hedged, "Could you send the cookies and gifts over? I don't think we have time to go up before we leave." His mom answered that she would send the items via express mail immediately, together with Alice's present. Uncas noted wryly that his present would not be included in the package - if he even had one. Alice was the daughter his parents never had and they doted on her.

* * *

Uncas was towelling his hair dry when Dwayne, one of his buddies on his squad asked curiously, "Aren't you going home?" "Should I?" Uncas replied cryptically. "Had a fight with Alice?" Dwayne nudged him cheekily. Uncas just elbowed him in return and walked out of the communal bathroom.

He checked his phone and saw that he had a message from Alice. She was going for dinner and drinks with her colleagues after work at a popular bar downtown. He texted her back, wishing her a good time. He walked to the barracks, thinking of the looming London trip. By the time he reached the building, he had made up his mind. He retrieved his phone and made a call.

* * *

"Where's your soldier boyfriend tonight?" Alice peered at Kylie, her colleague who asked the question, and who always flirted shamelessly with Uncas when he was around. Alice dismissed her question with a noncommittal shrug. Nick, another colleague she often worked with materialised at her side, offering her a glass of wine, "Spending Christmas in London?" Alice nodded and they started chatting animatedly about their holiday plans.

Nick was good-looking, tall with sandy brown hair and green eyes, and Alice confessed she was secretly flattered sometimes when he paid her attention. If she was not with Uncas...maybe she would have...Alice gave herself a hard mental shake. She was being silly. She was happy with Uncas, was she not?

Alice checked her phone for the hundredth time - there were no messages from Uncas since his perfunctory reply to her equally perfunctory message. She never felt so unsettled before. They have had their skirmishes but nothing so emotionally disruptive as their latest disagreement. She knew he was not as upset about the fact she turned him down as the fact that she offered no explanation. Uncas was the most rational, logical person she knew - he hated things hanging or unresolved without reason or conclusion. Feeling impulsive, she ordered another glass of wine.

* * *

Uncas skimmed down the sidewalk, flipping the collar of his jacket up against the bitter cold. It was going to snow soon. Despite his better judgement, he was back in D.C and on his way to the bar Alice claimed she was at. He paused in front of it and searched for her through the all-glass shop front. He finally found her at the bar counter, swaying unsteadily on a bar stool. Her colleague, Nick was standing next to her. _Too close to her._ Uncas thought darkly.

Alice's black jacket was hanging off one shoulder, exposing her thin slinky camisole beneath. She slipped off the stool drunkenly and landed in Nick's arms. Uncas fought the urge to rush inside - instead he observed calmly from the outside. To Nick's credit, he kept his arms chastely on Alice's shoulders and tugged her jacket back into place. Uncas saw Alice flash a giddy smile at Nick, looking uninhibited and relaxed. Uncas could not help comparing the present Alice to the Alice of the last few months - or how Alice seemed so testy whenever she was with him.

His phone beeped and his jaw tightened reflexively when he saw the number. He picked up the call, listened intently, uttered his assent and clicked off. Nick and Alice disappeared into the cloakroom and reappeared a few moments later. Nick helped Alice into her dark grey coat and tied the belt at her waist. With his arm around her shoulder, he guided her out of the bar.

Uncas blocked their path casually, "Hello, Nick." "Uncas! Alice mentioned you were working late. I was going to send her home." Nick exclaimed in astonishment. When Nick saw that Uncas was eyeing his arm which was still draped over Alice, he automatically retracted the offending limb.

"Knocked off early so I decided to pick her up." Uncas responded smoothly, his tone amicable. "She had a bit too much to drink today. She looked a little out of sorts." Nick divulged, stuffing his hands into his pockets of his coat. Uncas made him nervous - Alice's boyfriend had a lethal, dangerous aura about him and those deep brown eyes were always razor sharp and alert at all times.

Uncas thanked the other man politely and slipped his arm around Alice's waist possessively. With a cautious wave, Nick took his leave. Alice tottered on her high-heeled boots, automatically sinking against his chest. "Cold." she mumbled into his jacket, wriggling closer. Uncas wondered half-exasperatedly whether Alice knew it was him. "Alice." he shook her firmly.

Her eyes fluttered open and she stared at him, askance, "You are supposed to be at the base." Her tone was accusing. "Came back for you, sweetheart." he answered wearily. Alice jerked her head up to look at him with tipsy suspicion, "Did you?" Uncas sighed and gathered her into his arms securely, "Always." He pressed a kiss on her cold cheek, "Let's go home."

* * *

They went back to her apartment. Uncas was finicky about taking showers where possible; maybe it was because he had spent numerous times going without showering for days while on missions. He ushered Alice into the shower and quickly doused her with warm water. Bundling her up in her worn bathrobe, he sat her down at her vanity table and plugged in the hair dryer.

Alice rested against Uncas as he patiently dried her hair. If she was not so sloshed and exhausted, she would have smiled at the sight of the rugged, muscular SEAL being so attentive. That and the fact that Uncas was a stickler for hygiene. When he was done, he carried her to bed. Her brow crinkled in bewilderment when he did not join her. Instead, he dusted a kiss on her forehead, "Sleep tight." _Don't go._ She wanted to call out but her lids drooped heavily, her throat too parched to form the words.

* * *

 _I'm never going to drink so much again._ Alice moaned pathetically as she gingerly sat up the next morning with a pounding headache. Fortunately, it was Saturday so she did not have to work. Uncas. She blinked. She had hazy recollections of him last night. He had gone to the bar. He had taken her home, showered her and gotten her into clean clothes.

 _And he had not slept in her bed._ The sheet on the other side was unwrinkled, the pillow undented. Her bedside clock proclaimed it was noon. Alice felt a little disoriented. It had been a unspoken agreement for the longest time that they would spend Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights at his apartment. _Why were they at her apartment?_

* * *

"Why are we not at your place?" Alice could not help asking, as she treaded into the living room. Uncas handed her a glass of fresh orange juice, "Is there a rule that we can't camp here on Friday nights?" He flicked her an unreadable look, "Am I breaking protocol here?" She studied him with growing apprehension. _Something was not right._ "Shall we go out for lunch? It's nice outside." He changed the subject before Alice could probe him further about his bleak mood. "Let's." she replied stiltedly and quickly returned to her room to change.

* * *

Uncas suggested they try the new brunch place on the next street. They walked there in complete silence; far from the warm, wordless intimacy they shared on many occasions. Still, Uncas had not resisted when Alice reached for his hand earlier, his fingers clasped her fingers loosely. Upon arrival, the hostess informed them they had to wait for a table. Their number was called a few minutes later and the couple prepared to enter the café.

"Uncas?" Uncas whipped his head around and found himself looking into familiar hazel eyes. "Becca?" _Becca Swanson._ One of CIA's most gifted field agents of the 21st century, and no doubt its most beautiful. She stood 5'11" in bare feet and boasted flawless milky skin, a lustrous mane a couple of shades lighter than Uncas' own raven hue.

She had a lithe, athletic figure and exuded an air of effortless confidence. Behind that exceptional beauty was a brilliant, shrewd mind. Becca had been scouted by the agency while she was still in college: a perfect GPA, star of the lacrosse and tennis teams, a winning personality.

She had a double major in Political Science and History. Plus, she had an aptitude for languages and already was fluent in four at that time: English, French, Spanish and Mandarin. She had grown up speaking French and Mandarin with her Chinese-Canadian mother and maternal Chinese grandparents.

Uncas guessed Becca now could probably rattle off in at least three other languages. They had worked together over the years on several joint operations. While they got along very well, not once had either of them crossed the line. They had too much personal and professional respect for each other to risk burning bridges.

Becca pecked a friendly kiss on his cheek before turning to Alice, "I'm Becca Swanson. Uncas and I work together occasionally." Alice shook the proffered hand and tried not to gawk at the gorgeous woman in front of her who looked as if she belonged on the fashion runway - and in a Victoria's Secret catalogue.

Becca's smile was genuine and while she had appeared chummy with Uncas, there was not a drop of flirtatiousness or seductiveness in her manner. "I'm Alice. Lovely to meet you." Alice responded genially."Well, I was just leaving. Insider tip - the waffles here are delicious." With a wink, Becca swished out of the café.

* * *

"Becca is beautiful." Alice commented casually as she stabbed a slice of bacon with her fork. "She is." Uncas concurred evenly. "How long have you known her?" Alice blurted out. "About five years. I met her on my first joint operation." he replied matter-of-factly. "And she works for..." Alice pressed, curiosity killing her. Her gut feeling was telling her Becca was not from the military. "A government agency." he issued brusquely. Alice nodded docilely, knowing the subject was closed.

* * *

They were back at Alice's apartment two hours later. Uncas channel surfed in the living room, while Alice pottered around the kitchen. She boiled tea, and set a teapot and two cups on a tray. Putting down the tray on the coffee table, she scooted close to him on the couch, resting her head on his shoulder. _Strong. Dependable. Safe._

Uncas started tracing circles on her palm, "You looked as if you had fun yesterday." Alice answered easily, "Not more than usual." "Nick likes you more than a colleague." he stated, tipping his chin down to look into her eyes. Alice stiffened, " I don't like him that way." "You would have if you weren't with me." he mused cynically. Alice snapped her head up and demanded, "What are you trying to say?" "Nothing. Just an observation." he countered, unruffled.

Alice stared at him, her heart thumping with trepidation. Uncas took a deep breath and announced, "I cancelled my leave." Alice's mouth dropped open, "What?" "I'm not going to London with you. I don't think I should go to London with you." he resumed, holding her gaze unwaveringly. Alice finally found her voice, "Are you doing this just because I didn't agree to marry you?" She knew she said the wrong thing when he flinched. She had just trivialised his proposal.

Alice felt panic wash over her and she sputtered incoherently, "It's not that I don't want to marry you, I just think we need to - " "What do you want from me, Alice?" Uncas interjected curtly. Alice froze, her eyes wide and turbulent. "What do you want from me?" he repeated forcefully, his eyes filled with wounded despair. "I want you to quit your job. I want us to have a normal relationship." she barked defensively.

He regarded her for a long minute. "So if I quit tomorrow, are we going to have a normal relationship? Are you going to marry me?" he rapped out stoically, but disappointment was etched across his features. Alice realised how childish and frivolous she had sounded. "What am I to you? If the past three years was not a normal relationship to you? An ongoing fling?" he grilled ruthlessly.

 _She was going to lose him._ The knowledge hit Alice like a ten-tonne truck. She tried to think of a smart reply but she could not. _What do I want from him?_ "What do you want from me?" she whispered desperately, her bottom lip wobbling uncontrollably. She was on the verge of losing him. She could feel it explicitly. His eyes, his tone.

"I want you to be my wife. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you to be there when I need you. I want you to be there when I'm happy. I want you to be there when it hurts. I want everything you have to give me - the good and the bad. I don't give a damn what happens to you now or in the future. I just want you. _Just you_." he rasped, his eyes glittering with fierce emotion. He reached out to thumb away the lone tear rolling down her cheek, "But you don't want all those things from me, do you? You want some - but not all. You want more than that, different things - and you don't think I can give them to you." he concluded achingly.

Alice could only sit paralysed on the couch as he got to his feet. He grabbed his car keys from the coffee table and looked down at her, "We need a break from each other." Alice closed her eyes and shook her head furiously, " No, we do not. I just need to -" "You won't be able to sort out your feelings with me around. The time apart will help." he refuted gently. "How long? How long is this break going to be?" she stammered. The bittersweet pain and regret in his eyes answered her question. He headed towards the door.

Alice refused to watch him walk out of her home - and out of her life. _No._ She heard him slip on his shoes and open the door. "I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you." his deep voice floated towards her and the door clicked shut. Alice lay curled on the couch, as tears rained non-stop down her cheeks, splashing on her clothes. The couch still retained Uncas' warmth, his scent. She buried her nose in the leather and cried her heart out.

* * *

Uncas numbly climbed into his SUV. Breaking up with Alice was the most difficult and painful decision he had ever made in his life so far. He felt as if his heart was being mauled out of him and all that was left was a huge, gaping hole. He stared blindly at the windscreen, tears blurring his vision. He loved her - but he just could not let things go on status quo.

He knew Alice would be perfectly fine letting things run as it were until a wrench was thrown at some point - in which she would just give up and walk away, thinking they had tried their best when they actually had not. They owed it to themselves to think things through properly. If Uncas was not what Alice wanted in her life, in a partner, then he would have to let her go. It was not just about his job - there were other aspects in their relationship she was bothered by but until now refrained from facing head-on.

The clock on his dashboard glowed: it was 3.15pm. He had to report at the base at 6pm. Once he had made the call to cancel his leave yesterday at the base, he had been assigned a mission while he waited for Alice outside the bar. The mission had no confirmed duration. It could be days, weeks and months before he returned to the US. After a few minutes, he powered up the car and drove away.

* * *

Alice did not know how long she lay on the couch crying. All she knew that she felt as if someone had punched her in the gut and ripped out her heart. Her house suddenly felt so empty. Her life suddenly felt so empty.

She felt so empty.

 _Uncas was gone._


	3. Chapter 3

By 5.30pm, Uncas and his squad had gathered at the base. The door to the briefing room swung open and Becca Swanson strutted in. "Kate Bentley - reporting for duty." she greeted cheerily. She gave Uncas an imperceptible nod and sat down at the table. If she was surprised to see Uncas, she hid it well. CIA operatives never used their real names on missions - all the military guys knew better than to ask. They were all here to do the job - everything else was immaterial.

The fact that Uncas addressed Becca by her birth name spoke volumes of the trust she had in him. When he first met her five years ago, she had introduced herself as "Danielle Taylor". She had only divulged her real name to him on their third mission together in which they had nearly perished. He already been with Alice then and the minute his foot touched U.S soil, he has driven straight to her apartment, thankful he could see and hold her again.

* * *

After the brief, the team headed for the rumbling C-130 Hercules waiting on the airstrip. Uncas strapped himself in, and Becca did the same beside him. "Change of holiday plans?" she inquired mildly. A faint self-deprecating grin crossed his features but he did not reply. Becca could read most people like a book, but Uncas was a constant enigma to her. He was always inscrutable, never said much, never lost his temper. He never failed to keep his cool, even in the most dangerous of situations. She could vouch for that many times over.

Earlier in the afternoon was the first time Becca saw him let his guard down - at the café with his delicately lovely girlfriend. She had spotted them when they arrived and observed them curiously from her seat inside the café. The way Uncas tucked a stray lock of hair behind Alice's ear, the way he gazed at her with so much naked longing when she was not looking... Becca confessed she felt a twinge of envy towards the blond woman. While Uncas had mentioned in passing he had a girlfriend, he never once revealed she was British. Becca peeked at Uncas from the corner of her eye. He was staring at the rear of the plane, his dark eyes impenetrable as usual. _Why was he here?_ Becca wondered idly.

* * *

Alice scrubbed her hand over her face. It was 8pm. She had somehow managed to sob herself to sleep - something she had not done since she was shipped to boarding school when she was twelve. _Uncas_. She had to find him. Had to convince him time apart was a horrid idea. Her cell phone rang just as she leapt off the couch. "Mum?" "Oh, darling. I just called to say what a shame it is that Uncas got called away. He phoned us earlier to apologise that he would be unable to spend Christmas with us." Katherine Munro sighed heavily over the line. _Called away?_ Alice rushed to the door, hoping that Uncas was simply cooking up an excuse to appease her parents.

* * *

Alice took a cab to Uncas' apartment and let herself in. It was dark and eerily silent. She ran to the bedroom and charged into the walk-in wardrobe. The huge duffel bag - his de facto luggage for overseas assignments - was ominously missing. She raced out to the living room, trembling with shock and disbelief. _He could not have left just like that._ He could not have meant his earlier words of them breaking up. _He could not._

There was a white envelope on the kitchen table with her name scrawled across the front. Alice tore it open and shook the contents out. His key card to her apartment fell onto the table top. Alice blinked at the key card stupidly, her brain and heart screaming with denial. Also on the table were jars of cookies and a pile of wrapped presents. The note stuck on one of the presents informed her the cookies and gifts were for Alice and her family, and were from his parents, Helene and Chingachcook.

Dazed, she shuffled back to the living room and crumpled on the floor in front of the huge plasma TV. _What had she done?_ She mindlessly started yanking out the drawers of the console one after another. What was she trying to find? Alice did not know. Maybe she was trying to find a reason why Uncas had decided to make such a drastic call on their relationship.

The first few drawers were filled with movie DVDs - they indulged in movie marathons regularly on weekends. Another drawer contained family albums which she had seen before. The last drawer was lined with a thick stack of clear, plastic files - Alice had never seen these before. On closer look, she realised the top file had the name of his squad member of whom she went for his funeral stencilled across - Greg Shelton. Inside were pictures of he and Uncas together on tour and at house parties, Uncas with Greg's family, a clipping of the obituary, notes Uncas had written in memory of his friend.

Alice retrieved the next file and realised the files were arranged in chronological order, according to the date of passing of fellow SEALs. Each file comprised the same few items as Greg's file, some with newspaper clippings. Alice read through every file, pored over every word. Uncas' notes were heart-breaking though penned simply - recorded were mundane things such as the person's favourite colour and food, ritual before a mission, the memorable good - and bad - episodes they had shared together.

It was his way of paying tribute and keeping his memories of his friends alive. By the time Alice worked her way to the last file, she was a mess. Her eyes were more swollen than before, her nose was running. She knew he treasured his SEAL buddies but he was consistently so unflappable that she never knew he was capable of such deep, stirring emotion when it came to them.

 _Had she ever bothered to find out how he grieved for his fallen team members?_ She had just taken for granted he was strong and capable enough to handle his emotions well, inclusive of grief. She carefully put back the files into the drawer when she caught a glimpse of something crimson at the back. She stuck her hand in and extracted it.

It was a small Cartier jewellery box. Alice flipped it open and gasped when she saw the dazzling emerald-cut solitaire ring inside. A neatly folded paper was tucked tightly against the cover. She unfolded it - it was the receipt of purchase. The ring was bought at the Cartier boutique on Kurfürstendamm in Berlin - a couple of days before Christmas three years ago. It was her proposal ring - bought just two weeks after Uncas had met her. _He had known then._ He had been sure then. He had been sure about her for the past three years. Until now.

 _"But you don't want all those things from me, do you? You want some - but not all."_ Was Uncas right? She had been embracing only parts of him she wanted, found convenient; while he unconditionally accepted everything about her. The bad, the good, even the parts he found less than desirable. _Had he been patiently waiting all this while for her to feel the same?_

Alice dashed away the fresh tears leaking from her eyes. Why had he hid the ring here and not his safe or the locked drawer of his desk in the study? Because she had access to both of those - while she never ventured near the TV console. _He knew her well; how well did she know him?_ Alice was abruptly overcome with shame. Had she ever tried to dig deeper than what he chose to reveal of himself? She was beginning to realise just how much she did not know him, how much she did not deserve him. She placed the box back and shut the drawer.

* * *

 _She needed to clear her belongings from his apartment._ Sniffling, she ambled into the bedroom. Her clothes. She found an empty box and began to toss her clothes in, followed by a couple of pairs of shoes. Next was the study. She packed up her books and notepads and threw them in with the clothes. On his huge oak desk was a framed picture of them taken in Berlin three years ago - at the Christmas market at Alexanderplatz, sharing mulled wine. It was one of the first photos they had taken together. She was grinning happily at the camera, while Uncas was looking at her, a hint of an indulgent smile evident in his chiselled profile. Swallowing painfully, Alice whirled away and made her way out of his apartment.

* * *

It was snowing. Alice stepped out onto the sidewalk and looked up. Snowflakes danced above playfully and landed on her upturned face. Clutching her box of belongings, she stood in the middle of the sidewalk, feeling lost. Where could she go? She did not want to go home. _Shana._ She could go to Shana, who lived some fifteen minutes away from Uncas by foot. She started walking in the direction of her friend's place. She was clad in jeans, a heavy-knit sweater, a pair of ballet flats and nothing else. She had rushed out of her house earlier without much thought. She was shivering but she did not give a whit. _Uncas. Uncas loved it when it snowed._

* * *

Dan and Shana jumped when the doorbell rang. It was almost 10pm and they were not expecting visitors. "I'll get it." Shana offered, scrambling off the couch. She reached the door and checked the peephole. "Dan! It's Alice!" Shana exclaimed worriedly and quickly unlocked the door. Her English friend stood trembling from head to toe, peppered with snow. She hugged a box overflowing with clothes and books in her arms.

Her teeth chattering, Alice babbled, "He's gone, Shana. He's gone. _It's all my fault_. I -" Shana drew Alice into her arms, "Oh, honey." Alice dropped her box and collapsed in her friend's embrace. Dan silently picked up the box from the ground and huddled the two women into the warmth of the house.

* * *

 _Three weeks later_

Uncas adjusted his position and looked out into the endless, uninhibited land in front of him. He was sitting on top of a sand dune, stars blanketed the midnight sky like tiny jewels. It was Christmas morning in D.C and London. He lowered his back on the cool sand, burying his fingers into the fine, powdery grains. _Alice_. He wondered how she was doing. She would have known by now he was not in the U.S. Uncas and his squad had spent the last few weeks doing reconnaissance and collecting intelligence for an upcoming operation.

He missed her terribly, period. It was ironic since he was the one who had called off their relationship. She would be in London by now. He rummaged in his pockets and withdrew the picture of them he always carried with him. It was the same one framed on his desk back home. It was special because it captured and immortalised the very moment he realised that Alice was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

She had been waxing lyrical about the mulled wine (she had been freezing then and any hot drink would have been heaven to her), contemplating how she and Uncas should set up a cart selling it in tumblers in the middle of the financial district in D.C during the winter season. Uncas had been completely tickled at how serious she had sounded as she gulped down the wine like water. And it hit him that he could spend his whole life listening to similar hilarious theories like this - as long it was Alice doing the talking. That same afternoon, while Alice went shopping, he bought the ring.

Uncas held up the picture with both hands. He traced Alice's smile with one finger. _Merry Christmas, sweetheart._

* * *

"Aunty Alice!" Alice could not help smiling as her five-year-old niece, Eloise, came tearing towards her. "Hello, darling. How have you been?" Alice swung Eloise into her arms and kissed her noisily all over her chubby face. It was Christmas morning. Alice had spent the night before at her parents' house. Cora and her boisterous family had just arrived. Alice set Eloise down and hugged her sister, her brother-in-law, Nathaniel, and her seven-year-old nephew, Ian.

"Where's Uncle Uncas? He promised the last time he' would show me a few cool moves on self-defense." Ian inquired innocently. The boy idolised Uncas and trailed him like a faithful puppy whenever they met. There was an awkward silence before Nathaniel quickly jostled his son towards his grandparents, "Let's give Granddad and Nanny their presents first, son."

Cora regarded her younger sister with sympathy. Alice did not have the heart to tell parents about her breakup with Uncas while Cora had suspected something was amiss the moment she knew Uncas was not spending Christmas with them. She had coaxed the real reason out of Alice and was dismayed that the couple was taking time apart. "Are you all right?" Cora squeezed her sister's shoulder comfortingly. Alice smiled bravely, "As all right as I can be."

* * *

Alice returned to her tiny walk-up apartment later that night. She flopped on her couch, and stared into the dark space in front of her. _Uncas._ She missed him terribly, period. The feeling was absolutely different from those times when he was away on assignments. There was a persistent ache in her heart and a vast sense of emptiness that nothing could fill. She wistfully recalled the previous time they were in her apartment. They had thrown a blanket on the floor and made out the whole afternoon like teenagers. They had been playing cards and Alice could not remember how they went from blackjack to making out.

She walked to the kitchen and picked up the mug she reserved for Uncas for his morning coffee, and evening hot chocolate topped with marshmallows. She had teased him mercilessly for his child-like preference in hot beverages. He had simply shrugged it off with a sheepish grin, stating that his German grandmother used to make piping hot chocolate for him before bed when he was young and his love for the drink birthed from there.

Alice rubbed the rim of the mug before hanging it back on the hook. Pinned on her refrigerator was a picture of them ice-skating at Somerset House late winter two years ago. Alice had been making her monthly work trip to London and Uncas had accompanied her. He had his arms wrapped around her in the picture, a rare smile lighting up his face, his jaw indented with a deep dimple. She missed his smile, that rare, rare smile of his. Alice gazed out of her window at the falling snowflakes, gripped with longing. _Where in the world was he spending Christmas?_ She reverted her attention back to the picture and outlined his face with her finger. _Merry Christmas, darling._

* * *

Uncas dialled Dan's home number and his friend answered after two rings. "Merry Christmas, Dan." "Uncas? Are you back in the U.S?" Dan sounded so hopeful that Uncas chuckled, "Unfortunately, no. I'm... somewhere a little further than that." Dan sighed, " I see." "How's everything back home?" Uncas asked as he drew in the sand. "If you are asking about Alice, she went to London as planned." Dan retorted. When Uncas remained silent, Dan spoke up again in a noticeably softened tone, " She told us what happened." "Yeah?" Uncas mumbled, feeling a little awkward that he was discussing relationship stuff with Dan. He never did. Not to Dan, not to anyone.

"She went to your apartment the night you left." Dan related. Uncas was astonished. It was not like Alice to react so rashly - or quickly. Whenever they quarrelled and if she was in the wrong, she usually took days to process her thoughts before approaching him. "She packed up her things and walked to our place." Dan continued. "Did she?" Uncas answered roughly. _She had nowhere else to go._ Uncas felt his conscience prick at that thought. "It was snowing heavily that night, Uncas. She wasn't wearing much. I think she rushed out of her house to find you. When she arrived at our doorstep, she was covered in snow, frozen and feverish."

Uncas' fingers curled into fists, his fingernails digging into the flesh of his palms. "She stood at our door and started rambling that you were gone and it was all her fault." Dan finished. "Was she sick for a long time?" Uncas grated out. Alice did not have a very strong constitution - she had asthma as a child. "Just a couple of days. Shana insisted she stayed with us until she got well." "Thank you." Uncas said gratefully. "Was it really necessary to break up with her?" Dan posed unhappily.

There was pregnant pause before Uncas replied jadedly, "I couldn't go on knowing she didn't want the same things as I did, knowing I may not figure in her future. But you know what the worst thing was?" "What?" Dan probed. He could hear the hurt in his friend's voice and it moved him. This was the first time in the years they had known each other that his friend was acting, reacting in this manner.

"She wants nothing from me. I asked her what she wanted from me - and she wanted nothing. Not a single damn thing. All she wanted was for me to quit my job - nothing else. _She didn't want anything of me... when I wanted everything of her_."

* * *

 _Home._ Alice surveyed her apartment in D.C. It was a couple of days after the New Year. Her original plan was to stay in London until mid January but she had changed her flight and decided to spend the rest of her leave in D.C. She felt silly but being in D.C gave her a false sense of security that she was somehow closer to Uncas though he was probably halfway around the globe.

* * *

It was slightly over a month since Uncas walked out of her apartment and literally disappeared from her life. Alice lay on her side on her bed, staring at the empty space beside her where Uncas usually slept. She thought as time passed, she would miss Uncas less, get used to not having him in her world. But she was mistaken. She missed him so much that she sometimes felt suffocated by the loneliness. Everything little thing reminded her of him. Dan and Shana did not know where he was either though they were certain he had yet to return to the U.S.

Uncas may had been a man of a few words, but he had a commanding presence. And his gentleness. On hindsight, Alice realised how impossibly gentle and tender he was with her when she observed other couples. Alice yearned for that presence and tenderness in her life again. _"Came back for you, sweetheart."_ Those words echoed around her room. He always came back for her, no matter what far-flung location he was sent to. But he was not going to this time. Alice hugged herself, longing to have his arms around her again. Life was not the same without him. Her life had not come to a standstill because he no longer was with her - it went on. Everything was the same - yet nothing felt the same. "I'm sorry." she whispered aloud. " _I'm so sorry."_

* * *

"Ready, Silver Fox?" Uncas gave Becca a quick nod of affirmation. "Silver Fox" was his call sign. Becca's was "Moon Rain" and no matter how the men bugged her to spill the story behind her call sign, she refused to budge. They were slated to execute their mission tonight. Most of his SEAL mates had their little rituals before they headed out for a mission, but Uncas had none. His last image of Alice entered his mind, utterly flabbergasted and despaired on her couch, tears streaking down her cheeks. She looked as if he had socked her in the gut. He thought of the proposal ring sitting in the corner of the drawer. He recalled her giggling in his arms as they cuddled up on his couch, embarking on movie marathons. _Were they really wrong for each other?_

It was pitch black in the helicopter Uncas was in, but he had his night-vision goggles on so everything was an alien-ish green. They were going to parachute out of the helicopter in three minutes. He glanced at his watch and began a mental countdown. He knew Becca and the rest of his squad were doing the same. _"Missed you, too."_ Alice's soft, cultured voice reverberated in his head. Uncas could almost feel her slim arms around his waist, snuggling against his chest, her hair tickling his nose. The pilot informed them they were two minutes away. Uncas took a long, deep breath: his mind gradually went blank, his heartbeat slowed, his entire concentration on the mission ahead.

* * *

 _Some time later_

They pulled off the mission with success. As the helicopter flew the team back to the base, one of the men quipped dryly, "What a way to start the new year." Uncas clapped the soldier's shoulder and leaned back in his seat. Despite the success of the mission, not all of them were not heading home yet. This was one assignment of the many planned over the next couple of months.

"Staying?" Becca's question interrupted his thoughts. "Yes." he replied tautly. "So am I. Orders." Becca supplied, regarding him thoughtfully "Why are you here? Weren't you on leave?" she finally asked. "I was." Uncas answered, his tone indifferent, his expression vacant. "Well, this is my first time spending Christmas and New Year surrounded by so many macho men." Becca joked to lightened the mood, and all the soldiers grunted in approval.

Oblivious to what was happening around him, Uncas vacantly rubbed his knuckles over the calluses on his palm, his mind trickling back in time to a conversation he had with Alice three years ago. They had been strolling hand-in-hand down the Kurfürstendamm on New Year's Eve...

* * *

 _Three years ago_

"You had me when you shook my hand at Dan's." Alice confessed shyly. Uncas raised their interlocked hands in front of his face and studied his hand with a mock frown, "Why? It looks like a normal hand to me." Alice shot him a wry smile, " It certainly did not make me feel normal." Uncas stopped in his tracks and turned to her. "Then what did it make you feel?" he teased, but his eyes were solemn. "It felt right. _You felt right..."_ Alice disclosed huskily, her eyes shining with affection as she kissed his knuckles and stood on her tiptoes to press a kiss on his lips...

* * *

Back to the present, Uncas stared at his hands broodingly.

 _How did I become so wrong for you, Alice? When did I start feeling so wrong?_

* * *

 ** _Author's Note_**

 _I'm mystified yet very happy that many of you are enjoying the story with me. Thank you all so much for the reviews and keep your opinions and thoughts coming since I do draw much inspiration from them :) Above all, I'm heartened that most of you can relate to this modern version of Alice and Uncas and still somewhat connect them to the characters in the movie. Will do my best to keep this story going... thanks much again XXXOOOO_


	4. Chapter 4

Alice had not called Uncas' parents yet to thank them for their Christmas gifts. She was unsure whether Uncas had informed them of their break-up and did not wish to be caught in an awkward situation. But it was the height of discourtesy not to express her gratitude and send her greetings. With a palpitating heart, Alice dialled Uncas' childhood home in Boston.

"Hello?" Chingachcook's gravelly voice boomed from the other side. Alice swallowed nervously, "Hello, it's Alice." They exchanged pleasantries before Helene came on the line. Alice had a similar conversation with her and was about to hang up when Helene commented anxiously, "Something happened between the two of you, am I right? Uncas called on Christmas morning and did not mention you at all. I asked him whether he was in London and he said he was working."

Alice bit her lip, "We decided to take a break from each other to think things through." Helene exhaled disappointedly, "My husband was right then. I do hope things work out between you both." With that, she instructed Alice to take care of herself and they ended the call. Alice sighed desolately. She loved Helene and Chingachcook to bits - so did her family. Slipping on her coat, she left for the Mannings'.

* * *

"I think you should try dating other people." Shana announced around a mouthful of Alice's homemade shepherd's pie. Alice gaped at her, " I beg your pardon?" "You don't need my pardon - you heard right. You should date other people. There is no point in moping around. You can mull over your situation and have fun at the same time." Shana suggested. "They are taking a temporary break, not breaking up for good." Dan huffed, gobbling down the remnants of his pasta. His wife glared at him, "Well, dear Uncas didn't give any deadline so I'm assuming he'll be fine with Alice going out with other people in the meantime." "I can't believe I'm hearing this. Alice, don't let my wife pollute your mind." Dan crowed as he left the table to get beer from the kitchen.

When Dan was out of earshot, Shana leaned towards Alice conspiratorially, "I mean it, Alice. Get out there and date some hot, passionate men." Alice rolled her eyes, "I don't see how that is going to help me think things through." Shana grew serious, "Life can be funny. You may not know what is missing until it is really missing, or maybe you'll discover that it is better left missed. Uncas is a good man, but he isn't the only good man out there. If he honestly isn't the man you want to spend the rest of your life with - this is the best time to find out." Alice muttered, "I don't want anyone else." "Then what stopped you from saying so to Uncas? Then why didn't you shout 'Yes!' immediately when he asked you to marry him?" Shana challenged.

When Alice remained stubbornly silent, Shana pursued, "Deep down in your heart, you aren't sure, are you? Is it his job? You knew what he was doing for a living when you agreed to date him." "It's not just about his job!" Alice burst out. Then what is it that is stopping you from having the one of greatest guys on this side of America from putting a ring on your finger and giving you his name?" Shana exclaimed, throwing up her hands in dramatic fashion. " I don't know! I just..." Alice covered her head with her hands. "Then you gotta find out. Do that, and decide whether you want Uncas back in your life. You owe yourself that much. You owe him that much." Shana beseeched. Flummoxed, Alice contemplated on Shana's suggestion. Was Shana right?

* * *

 _Six weeks later_

"Happy to be home?" Uncas flashed a weary grin at his mother, "Not this way." He gestured pointedly at his crutch and bandages around his middle and arms. He had broken his left leg and had gotten injured by shrapnel on a mission two weeks ago while trying to save a fellow SEAL during an unexpected ambush. He was fortunate the shrapnel missed all his major arteries and organs but he was going to be out of action for at least the next two months. He was temporarily relieved of his duties and once he was back in the U.S, he had boarded the next available flight to Boston.

Chingachcook had barely blinked at the sight of his limping son while Helene immediately started boiling herbal concoctions known to have healing powers - something she learnt from her late mother-in-law. Uncas was sitting at the porch of his childhood home, his leg propped on a chair. "Why are you here?" Helene asked brusquely. Uncas grimaced - Helene was not known for her tactfulness - as he answered, " Where else should I be?" " In D.C begging Alice to come back to you so I won't have to see you brooding outdoors in the middle of a snowstorm?" his traitorous mother quipped without missing a beat.

Uncas refused to be baited by Helene so he stubbornly kept his gaze on the snow-covered tree in front of him. "She called a few days after New Year and when I asked whether something was wrong between the two of you, she admitted that both of you had agreed to spend some time apart." his mother went on doggedly. Uncas suppressed a groan - once Helene sank her teeth into something, she never let go. Fortunately, Chingachcook joined them and Helene excused herself with a exasperated shake of her head.

Father and son stared wordlessly into the swirling snow for a few minutes. "Your mother is right." Chingachcook finally spoke, not looking at Uncas. When his son did not respond, he resumed, "You should be in D.C - not hiding here." "I'm recuperating." Uncas grumbled. "It was your idea." It was not a question, but a statement. "Yes." came the clipped reply. "And? Now you can't bear to go back to D.C because she isn't there waiting for you?" Chingachcook mused cynically.

"The idea of marrying me doesn't appeal to her." Uncas confessed stonily. His father pursed his lips thoughtfully, "Why would it? She knows nothing about you besides what you allow her to know." When Uncas flushed darkly, Chingachcook knew he had struck a raw nerve. "Does she know the reason, the story behind your every scar?" Uncas' jaw turned taut. "You want everything she has to give; but are you willing to give her everything of yourself, even the bad?" his father questioned sagely. He knew his son well, too well.

* * *

An hour later, Uncas was still sitting outside, the snow falling heavier than before. _"Are you willing to give her everything of yourself, even the bad?"_

* * *

"How's your steak?" Alice snapped out of her reverie and focused on the smiling man in front of her. Alice had taken Shana's advice and well, made herself a little more available. Most of the men she knew were aware that her boyfriend's work took him away from her side quite a bit so they would ask her out occasionally. Over the last six weeks, she had accepted quite a number of dinner dates on weekdays, saving weekends for herself or the Mannings. This was the first time she had agreed to a dinner date on Saturday - and with Nick. Her colleague probably had surmised that she was no longer with Uncas and had been discreetly stepping up on his advances though simultaneously respecting her space and privacy.

"It's good. How's yours?" Alice returned his smile, but her mind was somewhere else. _Uncas._ They patronised this restaurant often because Uncas loved the steak here. He would order the same thing every time and Alice would try to persuade him to choose something else. He never obliged. He was not a picky eater but when he liked something, he was near religious about it. Alice had ordered his favourite cut - just because.

When he was away on assignments or deployed, she rued his absence but somehow she always knew he would eventually come back to her. True, there was a small probability he would never return at all but she knew with all her heart and from him that the SEALs never left any of their brothers behind. Funny how that notion had not comforted her then - but infinitely comforted her now. Presently, the possibility of he never coming back to her when he was out there somewhere... was awful, unbearable. _She would gladly take an injured Uncas anytime to an existence without he in it..._ Alice closed her eyes briefly. That was it, was it not? To embrace everything he was rather than nit-pick and bemoan what she envisioned him to be. Was that what he was trying to tell her before he left? _"What do you want from me, Alice?"_

* * *

"It was a good idea to make reservations." Becca acknowledged as she and Uncas waited to be seated at the steak restaurant they were going to have dinner, which was packed to the rafters, with diners milling around the bar. "Can't get a table here without a reservation." Uncas murmured emphatically. He had returned to D.C the week before after spending a week in Boston. Becca had been the one who helped triage his wounds together with the medic when he had gotten injured and he had offered to buy dinner by a way of thanking her. The spook was a knock-out tonight in a snug-fitting black wool dress and grey knee-high boots, her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail.

Over the last few months spent together, Uncas realised belatedly Becca would not hesitate elevating their relationship to another level if he was equally keen. They were alike in so many ways and understood each other's jobs intrinsically. Uncas recognised that Becca was a very attractive woman and that they would make a rather handsome couple. But she did not tugged at his heartstrings to the point of physical, bittersweet pain like Alice did. Becca's megawatt smile did not turn his heart upside down and her touch did not make him melt or his heart beat faster. She just did not. Every time Alice smiled or touched him, Uncas lost a bit of himself to her, wanting to wrap her in his arms and never let go. But he had let her go... and now he was suffering from the repercussions.

* * *

Uncas was about to order his usual when he decided to order something else. Alice would be so proud, he thought randomly. Becca rattled off their order to the waiter as Uncas sank back in his chair and automatically surveyed his surroundings, grid by grid. A job hazard, but he was certain Becca was doing the same. He was sweeping the far corner of the busy space when he froze. _Alice._ She was sitting across Nick, partially hidden by a pillar. She was smiling and nodding earnestly as Nick gestured and conversed animatedly. How different the attorney was from himself. Uncas was never animated, his actions and gestures all efficient and practical, without an ounce of redundancy. _How boring he must be in comparison to Nick..._

Alice's hair fell in waves down her back and Uncas could see she was wearing her mauve silk dress. _Beautiful. She was beautiful._ And she was in the company of another man, while he was in the company of another woman. His throat constricted and he drew a painful breath. "Do you want to say hi?" Becca's knowing voice interrupted his thoughts. "It's all right." he muttered as he downed his wine. Becca nodded amiably and did not comment further. She watched resignedly as his eyes flitted in Alice's direction every few seconds. The months apart did nothing to dilute his feelings for his former girlfriend - he was obviously still very much in love with her.

* * *

Alice excused herself to go to the restroom. As she cut across the crowded room, she looked around aimlessly, and nearly tripped when her gaze clashed with an achingly familiar one. _Uncas. He was back._ His hair had grown out and he looked thinner. She could not decipher the expression in his eyes as he was too far away. Her gaze slid to his companion and her heart dropped to her toes with a loud thud. He was with Becca, who looked absolutely stunning. _They looked perfect together._ Pain, hurt and regret ripped through her, but pride made her straighten her shoulders. Lifting her chin, she marched towards the restroom without another backward glance.

* * *

Uncas noticed the change in Alice's demeanour when she discovered he was with Becca. He cursed inwardly but then again, he was bound to run into her at some point in time. He had been avoiding visiting Shana and Dan at their place, choosing to meet them outside their home. Alice looked as if she wanted to talk to him but had changed her mind upon seeing he was not alone. _What did she want to say to him?_

* * *

Alice was relieved Nick had not noticed Uncas' presence or the fact she was fidgeting distractedly in her chair. She refused to look in Uncas' direction again. When it was time to leave, Alice could not be more eager. She offered to retrieve their coats from the cloakroom while Nick paid the bill. Alice stepped into the crammed cloakroom and halted abruptly. Uncas was in front of her, leaning heavily on a crutch, his left leg in a cast. He had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, revealing bandages on both arms. She could pick out more bandages around his middle through his shirt. He was struggling to put his arm through the sleeve of the jacket, and she could see sweat beading his brow from his profile. He hissed in pain as he painstakingly wriggled his arm through one sleeve - he had another to go. Alice's felt herself getting choked up as she watched him fight waves of agony just to put on his coat.

* * *

 _It would be dawn by the time he managed to wear his coat_ , Uncas thought sourly. He had settled the cheque, while Becca had gone to the restroom. He decided to grab their coats in the meantime - which was a stupid idea since he could barely put on this coat. The painkillers were wearing out and he was due to take his next dose when he returned home. His left leg suddenly buckled under him and just when Uncas thought he was going to crumple like a rag doll on the floor, he felt a pair of arms slip around his waist and hold him steady. _"I've got you."_ a gentle voice assured him.

 _Alice._ Keeping one arm firmly around his waist, she came around to his front, her head bowed. Silently, she carefully tucked his other arm into the sleeve. She pulled the lapels of his coat together, her hands brushing his hair, and paused. _He smelled... like home and everything wonderful in life._ Alice inhaled raggedly as tears threatened to fall. She belted his coat, taking her time because... she missed him like hell and childishly wished they could stay in the cloakroom forever. She could feel his eyes on the top of her head as she finished dressing him. Without looking up, she asked in a tiny voice, "Which coat is hers?"

The hurt in her voice was evident and Uncas felt it like a physical blow. "Alice..." he dragged out the syllables of her name. She finally lifted her head and looked at him squarely in the eye. Uncas' gut clenched and his jaw flexed when he saw her eyes swimming with unshed tears. _She missed him... just as much he missed her - he was certain of that._ "Alice..." he reiterated, not knowing what else to say. Her lips parted, " I -"

"Alice?" Nick's voice interrupted them and Alice took a step backward. She quickly grabbed Nick's coat and hers, and scurried around Uncas. "I have our coats. Let's go." She said, pasting a bright smile on her face. Nick looked astounded to see Uncas but gathered his wits, "Hello, Uncas. How are you?" "Fine, thank you." Uncas replied civilly, all traces of softness gone from his voice. With a brisk nod, he snatched Becca's coat from the hanger and hobbled past them with as much dignity as he could muster.

* * *

"Did you know he was back?" Nick inquired curiously as he drove Alice home. "No." Alice answered curtly and that was the last word she uttered until they reached the driveway of her apartment. She thanked him for dinner and bid farewell, aware she should invite him to her home for coffee. But she did not. Once she was in her apartment, she dropped down on her couch, her mind racing. _Was Uncas dating Becca or was it just a casual dinner?_ Uncas did not do casual dinners with women, but Becca was an exception. This was a woman who fought alongside him. Alice had seen him stiffen at the sight of Nick, appearing ill at ease. Alice recalled Uncas' comment on how she would give Nick the time of day if she was not with him. Alice punched the cushion in annoyance - she hated that his prediction had come true.

* * *

Uncas shut the door loudly behind him. Becca, as astute as ever, had driven him straight home after dinner. She had kissed his cheek and said, " Till the next mission, Silver Fox." She was magnanimous enough not to throw a fuss over the fact that her dinner date had been occupied by another woman the entire evening. Wobbling over to the TV console, he yanked open the last drawer, running his fingers over the stack of files. He had never told Alice about the way he remembered his fallen SEAL brothers. _"Does she know the reason, the story behind your every scar?"_

Since Uncas had met Alice, he thought that he had been irreproachably open with Alice. He never failed to let her know how he felt about her, how much she meant to him... but never more than that. Each time she ventured into a discussion of his work, he clamped up. She had given up after a few tries, figuring everything he did was classified and he had not corrected her. In retrospect, Uncas had been afraid what Alice would think of him if she knew what exactly his work entailed, how he psychologically managed his missions.

Uncas had been prepared to embrace all of Alice, but had not given her a chance to embrace all of him. He had been cheating her from the start, keeping the scale tipped in his favour. _"She knows nothing about you besides what you allow her to know."_ So true. Alice had been wanting to know more of him, wanting more of him, but he had consciously kept parts of himself from her, thinking that demonstrating his love for her through action would suffice. It did not - Alice wanted more. When he asked her what she wanted from him, she could not answer because she believed that there was nothing more he was willing to give of himself. It was not her fault - it was his. It was not his job that was driving a wedge between them - it was him.

A line from a love blessing his father had recited at his Mohican's cousin wedding a few years ago struck Uncas: _"Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you."_ Uncas swallowed hard. Now he fully understood why Alice refused to move in with him and refused his proposal. They had been living their own parallel separate lives without knowing, coming together to live yet another seemingly cosy, convenient life when the occasion called for it, one that excluded all emotional baggage and insecurities. It was tiring to keep switching between the various lives. She had not seen the point in moving in with him when she felt their lives could not converge at any point, let alone spending the rest of her life with her. How could he be such a dumb ass?

* * *

Alice waited for the kettle to boil. Cora had sat down for a long chat when she was in London last. When Alice complained that there was so many things she did not know about Uncas, Cora had frowned, "Have you ever asked him about those things?" Alice never had - and that was her mistake. She assumed so many things about Uncas, about their relationship...that assumption had become her default excuse and solution for any problem that cropped out between them. She assumed his work was classified, she assumed he would balk if she probed further... He knew her very well - but did not know all of her very well. When he tried to probe deeper, she had shunned him, assuming he would continue to be happy and satisfied maintaining status quo. She had assumed wrong this time - Uncas had chosen to walk away.

The doorbell shrilled and Alice jumped. Who could be calling at such a late hour? She trotted over to the door and squinted through the peephole. _Uncas._ She quickly turned the lock and wrenched the door open. He stood there, his hair mussed by the wind, his cheeks reddened with cold, his breath uneven. His cast and crutch were dry despite the snow - he had taken a cab. They gazed at each other for the second time in that evening, the second time in almost three months.

"I-" Uncas started, but could not continue. As he looked at Alice, he was overwhelmed with emotion. He wanted to apologise, he wanted to explain why he never shared his SEAL experiences with her, he wanted to say he missed like crazy, he wanted to say he understood her decisions... he did not know where to start. "Alice -" He tried again, his fingers gripping his crutch like a lifeline. Alice took a step closer - her eyes wet, her bottom lip quivering. _She knew._

Throughout the last three years, Uncas was the one who always made the first move, even during a disagreement. He would let her be but never failed to give her an easy opening for her to reconcile with him. The last time he had returned from his assignment in the middle of the night, she had cut him off coldly but still he had gone to her, saying and showing how much he had missed her. It dawned on Alice just how much leeway he had given her, understanding her enough to know she would never make the first move. He always chose to make the first move in order to keep their relationship going, to keep them going.

But this time she would make the first move - though technically he had made the first move by coming over to her house. Alice took another step closer until her head bumped his chin. She slid her arms around his waist, feeling him shudder at her touch. A hot tear dropped on her shoulder, seeping through her thin shirt. She hugged him tighter and whispered, _"I've got you."_


	5. Chapter 5 Finale

_"I've got you."_

Uncas sagged slightly in Alice's embrace - she definitely got him on many fronts. This was a woman he loved so much that it scared him to death.

* * *

Without another word, Alice urged him inside the apartment and led him to the couch, where she eased him down and placed his crutch against the wall. She bundled him in a blanket and straightened, "I'll get some tea." Alice hurried to the kitchen and returned with a tray in a few minutes. Pouring him a cup, she handed it to him. He took it gratefully, welcoming the heat filtering through the porcelain. Alice settled next to him, keeping her distance. As she drank from her cup, she eyed him warily over its rim.

"Are you all right?" Alice posed haltingly. He managed a weak grin, "I've been better." "What happened?" she pursued, taking in his pale complexion and the fact he had lost at least a stone. "It's nothing. Don't -" he brushed off automatically then stopped when he noticed the acute disappointment reflected on her features. Sweeping the subject of his injuries and work-related issues under the carpet have become such a habit...

* * *

 _He still didn't trust her enough to share details of his work with her_. Dejection set upon Alice and she got to her feet. Just as she was wheeling away from Uncas, he caught her wrist. She lost her balance and landed partially on his injured leg. She quickly scrambled off his lap when he winced. Alice could feel his body heat permeating through the blanket. His unholy warmth was addictive.

"Got caught in an ambush. Was trying to save one of the boys when something exploded. I was thrown away on impact and blacked out. The next time I was awake, my left leg was hurting like hell and I was bleeding from all over. Becca helped the medic triage my wounds as he attended tothe more seriously injured. We were fortunate to all escape alive. I treated Becca earlier to dinner to thank her. Without her help, I could have bled out." Uncas related, his tone and manner matter-of-fact.

Alice blinked. This was the first time he was actually telling her something, anything, about his missions. Though she was predictably alarmed that she could have lost him, she was thankful that she had not. "Thank you." she issued quietly, staring at his rugged profile. "For?" he countered, tilting his head to gaze at her, his eyes full of inquiry. "For finally trusting me enough to tell me what happened." she answered candidly, looking down at her sweatpants.

Uncas studied her bent head as guilt stabbed at him. Was that what she thought along? That he did not trust her with his secrets? "The problem was never about not trusting you enough - I trust you with my life. I was afraid if I told you about my work, you would..." he trailed off, leaning his head on the wall behind him tiredly. There was a tension-wracked silence before he continued reluctantly, " Alice, I have done things you probably can never imagine and I -" "I trust you." Alice interjected fiercely, "I trust your reasons for choosing your career and what you have to do because of it."

"You hated it when I went away." Uncas reminded her. "I hate the thought of you never coming home to me more." Alice blurted out without thinking. When Uncas looked genuinely shocked at her confession, she blushed furiously. This was as forward as she had ever been with him. "It just felt as if a huge empty hole was being punched through in my life.. in me. I didn't know what to fill it up with, how to fill it up. And the hole just grew bigger and bigger each day, swallowing me up." Alice related poignantly, a helpless, fleeting smile crossing her features.

That was exactly how Uncas felt the time they were separated. He was half-relieved, half gratified that they were on the same page in that aspect. But he had a burning question for her and he did not hesitate grabbing the bull by its horns, "What about Nick?" "What about him?" Alice hedged, her eyes shifting away from his eyes to a point on the wall behind his shoulder. She looked so adorably chagrined that Uncas' felt some of his jealousy melt away - just some.

"The last time I checked, you were flirting with him over steak," Uncas frowned, keeping his expression stern. "I was not flirting! We were simply having a rather entertaining conversation." Alice defended crossly, forgetting about her guilt and glaring at Uncas. "He is entertaining, isn't he?" Uncas mused without rancour. _So much more so than himself._ Alice stole a glance at Uncas, who looked slightly deflated and resigned. He thinks he's too dull and bores me to death, Alice surmised instinctively.

"He is a good colleague and friend... but I don't feel anything for him," Alice explained quickly. It was true. Alice half thought she would develop more attraction towards Nick without Uncas in the picture, but she did not. All she did was to keep comparing him to Uncas, though it was unfair to do so. The more she compared, the more she thought herself foolish for thinking Uncas was replaceable or forgettable.

* * *

Alice's hand crept under the blanket, fumbling for Uncas' hand. When she found it, she gripped it tightly, "I missed you." Uncas' heart flipped at the yearning he felt in her touch, her voice. "I missed you too. Like hell." he grated huskily, stroking her knuckles lightly. Alice shivered at his subtle caress - this was what she missed. The way he cherished her in that understated, sincere way of his.

Uncas appeared contented to hold hands while maintaining a distance from her - but Alice was not. She sidled closer until she was pressed up against his side. She tugged away the blanket from him and delicately encircled his waist with her arms. Burrowing her face into the hollow of his throat, she inquired, "Still cold?" Her tone was warm and teasing, and Uncas felt a rush of relief course through him. That relief rapidly turned into desire when she dropped a lingering kiss on his collarbone, her hands running up and down his back sensually.

"Alice, what are you doing?" Uncas bit out between clenched teeth. It was a rhetorical question - they both knew that. Her intention was as clear as day. "Mmmmm?" Alice murmured against his jaw as she tenderly nipped the side of his mouth. Uncas muffled a strangled groan in her hair, "Alice, I have a broken leg." "Mmmmmm..." she replied distractedly, her hands coming around to trace his pectoral muscles, which flexed and jumped under his sweater at her touch.

"Alice, I don't believe in make-up sex." Uncas growled, his fingers digging into the couch's leather surface. Her hands halted and she craned her neck to look into his eyes seriously, "I don't either." It was not about the sex - it was the emotional connection she was desperately seeking. She wanted - needed - to be close to him again. Uncas pushed back her hair from her face, "Sweetheart, we have a lot to trash out between us. As much as I want to... I think it is better to talk first." Alice's breath hitched - how she missed the lazy, sweet way he called her 'Sweetheart'. She sighed grouchily. Uncas chuckled at her disgruntled countenance.

Alice yelped as Uncas abruptly lifted her and place her sideways on his lap. Tipping her chin upwards, he grinned wickedly, looking so devastating sexy that Alice literally thought she would swoon. "No one said we can't indulge in a little make-up kissing..." he rasped, sliding his lips to her ear, and bit down gently. Alice let out a little moan as his mouth descended towards her. Uncas crushed his lips against hers, his arms coming around her like bands of steel. _Home._ Uncas's throat constricted as Alice kissed him back with unbridled passion, her arms twined around his neck. _This was what home felt like._ Uncas had been restless and lost since he touched down in the U.S. Going to Boston barely alleviated the incessant ache and void in his heart.

Keep her mouth locked on his, Alice bunched up his sweater and yanked it over his head. Her hands glided down his back, down his torso, her fingers noting every faded scar, carefully avoiding the bandages of his new injuries. _Uncas._ _This was who he was, who she loved. She did not want him any other way._ Alice anchored her arms around his waist and held him tight. _She was not letting him go again._

Uncas reined in his raging desire as his mouth plundered Alice's, her scent driving his crazy as her fingers branded him with every stroke. _He was hers. There was no one else_. When she wriggled against him, he groaned harshly. This was pure torture. But he was adamant they would not sleep together again until they had settled all misunderstandings between them. He captured her wandering hands, "We gotta stop." Alice lifted her head fractionally, her lips barely touching his, "We do?"

Uncas choked out an uneven laugh, "Yes." Alice lay sprawled on his lap, her fingers threading through his hair gently. She did not look as if she was going anywhere soon. "Sweetheart, my leg is killing me," he added sheepishly, kissing her bare shoulder under her sweatshirt. "Oh!" Alice sprung from his lap instantly and inspected his injured leg worriedly. "I missed my medication - was supposed to take it an hour ago." he admitted, grimacing as a fresh stab of pain travelled up his leg. "I'll get it for you. Stay here." Alice wriggled into her coat and squashed a beanie on her head.

"You don't have to. I'll take some aspirin -" Uncas started to argue when Alice swooped down to silence him with a hard kiss, "I insist." With that, she hurried towards the door. There, she hesitated, " Did you change your security code?" Uncas met her gaze, "No." The key code to his apartment was still the date they first met. Alice nodded and left.

* * *

Alice managed to hail a cab despite the late hour. She let herself into Uncas' apartment and stood motionlessly at the doorway for a few minutes. Funny how the apartment felt comforting instead of intimidating this time. The issue of cohabitation seemed to be a dark cloud looming over her previously, questioning her commitment to Uncas. But now, Alice felt differently. She had learnt much during their time apart - about herself, about Uncas.

After retrieving the medication from the kitchen table, Alice treaded to the master bedroom. Hitting the switch, she surveyed the stark, masculine space. Walking over to the wardrobe, she smiled when she saw the corner where her things once occupied had been left as it was. She had always been a part of his life; while she had unconsciously shut him out from hers time and again when she feared he had gotten too close. _"What do you want from me, Alice?"_ She buried her nose into the wool of one his jackets hanging in the wardrobe. It was freshly laundered but it was infused with a hint of Uncas' usual cologne. _You. All of you._

* * *

Alice stepped into her apartment, dusting flecks of snow off her jacket. "I'm back. I'll get some water - " Alice broke off. Uncas was fast asleep on the couch, his left leg still propped on the coffee table. His head lolled against the wall, his features relaxed. He was bare chested under the blanket, which had fallen to his waist. Alice flushed since she had been the one who undressed him earlier. She gingerly sat next to him, careful not to wake him up. Reaching out, she traced his strong nose, dark brows, carved cheekbones and hewn jaw. There was no one like him. No one she would rather be with. Alice tucked herself against his side and arranged the blanket around them. Sighing softly with contentment, she closed her eyes.

* * *

Uncas woke up, stretching his arms, and rotating his shoulders and neck. Damn. His muscles had gotten stiff due to the lack of exercise since he had gotten injured. He lowered one arm and bumped into something. He frowned and looked down. _Alice._ Her head was on his lap, her hair strewn all over the place. She breathed evenly, her skin glowing in the morning sun streaming through the curtains. Uncas' heart ached so painfully at the sight that his throat clamped up, his eyes burned.

He cleared his throat and Alice stirred. She blinked and her eyes fluttered open. Seeing Uncas hovering above her, she smiled sleepily at him, "Good morning." His throat worked but he did not reply. Alice extended one hand to stroke his hair at the temple, "I'm glad you stayed." Uncas finally smiled back, "Me, too." He touched her cheek reverently. The door suddenly flew open and Shana's voice rang out, "Alice! It's a beautiful day! Let's head out and - " She halted abruptly in mid-speech when she saw her English friend lying on the lap of husband's best friend.

Dan tumbled in after his wife, " Shana is right, Alice. Forget Uncas. I have many more buddies -" Dan gaped at the couple cuddled on the couch. "...but none of them would be as right for you as the one you are currently on the lap of." Dan finished with a devilish grin. Uncas arched a cynical brow at his best friends while asking Alice, "How did they get in without a card?" Alice shrugged casually, " I gave them yours."

* * *

"So what's next?" Shana nudged Alice as they washed the dishes. They had ordered in brunch instead because of Uncas. The men were presently chatting about sports in the living room. " I have no idea. We'll take things one step at a time." Alice replied shortly. Shana snorted derisively, "C'mon, isn't marriage the next step? Face it - both of you were utterly miserable without each other."

Alice tossed down the dish towel, "True. But we realised we didn't know a lot of about each other though we have been dating for so long." "Uncas told me last night how he got injured." Alice continued, turning to look at her friend. "It was the first time he told me the reason. Weird, isn't it?" Alice shared, her tone bittersweet. Shana enveloped Alice into a hug, "Honey, there is a first time for everything. We all make mistakes." Alice sighed in relief, "I'm just thankful we got a chance to make it right."

* * *

That night, Alice followed Uncas back to his apartment. "I took the week off." she informed him as she made hot chocolate while Uncas hopped around the living room, trying to get the fireplace and the DVD going simultaneously. It was a miracle he had not fallen over all the while he was injured and alone. Alice shook her head in amused frustration. Uncas threw a rakish grin over his shoulder, "Sounds perfect."

* * *

Two hours later, the movie credits rolled and they sat on the couch in thoughtful silence after. "I'm sorry." Uncas issued gravely. Alice regarded him in astonishment. "My dad was right. While I was all ready to accept all of you, I wasn't prepared to let you get to know all of me." Uncas stated regretfully, looking into her eyes. "I am at fault, too. I should have tried harder, asked harder. I thought I was fine with not knowing - but I wasn't." Alice confessed, averting her eyes. Uncas cupped her chin firmly and lifted it up, "Ask anything you want. I'll tell you everything."

Alice bracketed his jaw with her hands, " I shall, slowly. But I discovered something while we were apart." "What?" "I love you just the way you are. I want everything of you. Your scars, your job... I don't want to change anything. They are all a part of you. They are you. I was upset not because I thought you needed to change. I was upset because I felt I did not know all of you. I wanted so badly to know more about you, love more about you. I only realised this while we were separated. I was angry about the wrong issues all along." Alice declared bleakly.

Uncas' heart slammed against his ribs. This was the first time she had openly said she loved him. He knew she did - but hearing it aloud from her... He leaned his forehead against hers, "I love you, too. I realised just how bloody much when I couldn't see you, hear your voice, come home to you. You hold me together. You are of the biggest reasons why I fight so hard to survive. I want to come home to you."

Alice tried to smile as tears fell endlessly from her eyes. Uncas patiently kissed her tears away and held her securely in his arms. It had taken a separation for them to dive deep into their feelings for each other but on hindsight, Alice would not have it any other way. They would have broken up for good if Uncas had not called her bluff those months ago. Alice managed to compose herself. She drew a shattered breath and inquired teasingly, "What is your biggest reason then?" Uncas made a face, " My mother. She swore she would haunt me for life if I did not produce grandkids for her in this lifetime. She wants granddaughters that look like you."

* * *

 _Three months later_

Alice glanced up when she heard the door click open. Uncas was home. It was a Friday evening. Uncas had just returned from training. His leg and wounds had healed amazingly fast and he had been given the all-clear three weeks ago and he had pounced back into training with so much eagerness that Alice could not help but laugh. He simply could not sit still and do nothing.

The last three months had been somewhat an eye opener for them. They had talked about their fears, their concerns, what mattered to them. They were finally on the same page and walking together down the same path. But there was something they had not talked about - marriage. They both knew innately and confidently it was on the cards but it was not formally discussed. Alice figured both of them had developed a phobia since Uncas' last proposal ended up in disaster.

Uncas grinned widely as Alice bounded towards him with her arms open wide. "You're late." she reprimanded sourly but her actions spoke otherwise as she dropped tiny kisses along his jawline. "Will make it up to you later," he murmured roughly, his voice full of promise, his eyes heavy lidded. Alice giggled as his stomach rumbled in protest, "I made lasagne. I'll warm it up for you."

* * *

Later that night, as they lay tangled between the sheets of his bed, Uncas broke the news, "I'm flying out tomorrow." Uncas braced himself for Alice's response - he genuinely had no idea how she would react. She flipped on her back to stare up at him calmly, "When are you coming back?" Uncas twirled a lock of her hair, " Four weeks, maybe five." Alice wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a long, deep kiss. When they came up for air, she whispered, "Come home to me." It was an order. Uncas clipped, " I will." It was a promise.

* * *

 _Six weeks later_

Uncas was flying back to the U.S the next day. He had called a couple of days ago. He sounded tired but upbeat. Even better, he was free of injury. Alice had been Boston for the past few days for a conference and had decided to call on Helene and Chingachcook on her last evening. They had been delighted to see her and were over the moon that she and Uncas had reconciled.

"Miss the rascal?" Helene quipped from behind her. Alice spun around guiltily, "Very much." Helene chuckled and joined her on the terrace of their house. "You'll never get used to it." the older woman opined bluntly as she gave Alice a motherly pat on her shoulder. "Pardon?" "You'll never get used to him being away and not knowing whether the last time you saw him would be your last time together." Helene resumed resignedly, tapping her fingers on the railing. Alice nodded resolutely, "I know." Helene covered Alice's hand with hers warmly, "Thank you for loving my son." Alice squeezed her hand in reply, "You're welcome."

* * *

Alice hummed as she trudged back from the grocery store, armed with wine. Chingachcook had ran out of wine and Alice had offered to make the fifteen-minute walk to the grocery store to get some. It was a lovely, breezy evening and it felt good to get some fresh air after being holed up from morning to night in a stuffy conference centre for four days straight. Uncas would be returning in the afternoon the next day and requested she made reservations at the steak restaurant for dinner.

Pulling up to the driveway of the house, she shrieked when a tall, dark form suddenly materialised next to her. "Hello, sweetheart." a sinfully sexy voice purred into her ear. Alice pummelled Uncas' chest even as she laughed happily, "You knave!" Uncas swept her up in a hungry kiss and Alice melted against him, all petty revenge forgotten. They would have gone on if Chingachcook had not interrupted them. "Did I send her off to the store at the right time?" the elder Mohican queried mildly , though his eyes sparkled with bemusement as he stood at the door. Uncas broke off the kiss reluctantly and saluted his father sharply with a wink, "Perfect timing, Dad."

* * *

"When did you get back?" Alice asked suspiciously later. They were in Uncas' old bedroom, propped up against a mountain of pillows on the bed. Uncas caressed her bare arm, " I arrived in D.C two days ago." Alice frowned, punching his arm, "You mean you were in D.C when you called me?" "Yeah, I was in my study." Uncas admitted unrepentantly, kissing her cheek soundly. Alice crossed her arms, "You're going to pay for this."

Uncas tilted her chin up, and his expression grew serious, "I see you have been busy while I was away." His apartment was now dotted with her belongings, his wardrobe half-filled with her clothes. "I moved in. I cancelled the lease to my apartment," she stated the obvious, pecking his nose. "Are you sure?" his arms tightening around her. She snuggled closer to him, "Very."

"Good." he uttered succinctly. He stretched out one hand to rummage in the drawers beside the bed while Alice yawned wearily. Maybe they should just stay the weekend in Boston instead of flying back to D.C the next day. Uncas picked up her left hand, " Alice?" "Mmmmmm?" Alice responded drowsily. Her eyes flew open when she felt him slip something on her fourth finger. "Marry me, sweetheart." he proposed huskily, gazing at her steadily. Alice shakily raised her hand, the Cartier ring shimmering brilliantly even in the watery moonlight.

"You knew even then." she muttered in fascination. Uncas' lips quirked at her revealing statement. So he had not been hallucinating when he thought the items in that particular drawer were not arranged as how he had left it. " I knew it then, I know it now. I know for the rest of my life," he concluded. When she continued to stare askance at the ring, he poked her side playfully, "Sweetheart? Your answer?" _Her answer_. "Yes, I will marry you. I'm going to wait for you to come home every day. You know I'll be waiting for you to come home every day." She vowed, clasping his hand in a death grip. Uncas smiled tenderly, his eyes glittering with love and much more, " I'll come back for you, sweetheart. Always."

* * *

 _Two months later_

Uncas and Alice were married on the lawn of his childhood home in Boston at sunset. They stood with their heads bowed, their hands interlaced, as Chingachcook recited the wedding blessing in front of them:

 _Now we feel no rain,_  
 _for each of us will be shelter to the other._  
 _Now we feel no cold,_  
 _for each of us will be warmth to the other._  
 _Now there is no loneliness,_  
 _for each of us will be a companion to the other._  
 _We are two persons,_  
 _but there is one life before us and one home._  
 _When evening falls,_  
 _I'll look up and there you will be._  
 _I'll take your hand;_  
 _you'll take mine and we'll turn together_  
 _To look at the road we travelled to reach this - the hour of our happiness._  
 _It stretches behind us,_  
 _even as the future lies ahead._  
 _A long and winding road,_  
 _whose every turn means discovery._  
 _Old hopes, new laughter, shared fears._  
 _The adventure has just begun._

The couple gazed at each other: quiet, sure, committed. There was not a dry eye left among the guests at the end of the prayer. Chingachcook stepped forward and enclosed the hands of his son and newly minted daughter-in-law within his own. " Never forget that the two of you have found what all seek, but many may not find." he reminded, his elegantly wrinkled face lit with peace.

 _"You found what it means to love."_

 **\- THE END -**

* * *

 _Thank you for the wonderful support given to my maiden foray into writing a contemporary story. I never thought I could do it but thanks to all of your insightful reviews and love for the couple - I did. I hope everyone enjoyed the journey as much as I did and I'll do my best to cook up another story about our fave couple soon :)_

XXXOOOOOO


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